Tony cannot dance.  I repeat: cannot.  Poor boy.  Poor, poor white boy who cannot dance.


I suppose you should know that I love to dance.  (Of course, because then why would I be devoting an entire blog entry to talking about two people’s bad-dancing-ness?) (And remember, I told you I was an English major so I totally know “bad-dancing-ness” is in the dictionary.  You can trust me.  You don’t need to go look it up on your own.) *

I digress.

So picking out our wedding song was really not on the top of his “Things to Do For the Wedding” list.  In fact, his list is probably very short.  I imagine it’s sort of like: “1.) Brush teeth morning of. 2.) Show up.”

Basics, people.  It’s all about the basics.

If you had asked me every year since I’ve turned 16 what my wedding song was going to be, I’d have had a different answer for you each time.  I go on kicks with everything I do.  Ask my poor mom who would wait for some time while I’d down all the Cheerios in the house over the course of 3 weeks and then finally cave and buy 4 boxes all at once.  And then you know what I’d do?  I’d switch to Frosted Flakes.**

So, anyway, I remember a time when it HAD to be Bob Marley’s “Acoustic Medley.”  My favorite artist of all time is Bob Marley.  You do not understand my love for Bob Marley.  But have you heard the “Acoustic Medley?”  It’s 11 minutes long.  What the crap was I thinking?  That didn’t last long.

(DJ says: “Sorry folks, there will be no dancing this evening.  The couple will be rounding off the night with their first dance.”)

Ok, so then it was Eric Clapton’s “You Look Wonderful Tonight,” because oh my gosh, ya’ll (Britney Spears channel right there, folks), I have blonde hair, too!  And he’s totally singing to his blonde-haired wife!  And this is just too coincidental, no? 

Ok, so that one didn’t last long, either.  Which is alright, because I’m not really a big Clapton fan anyway.

Next up was Shania Twain’s “You’re Still the One.”  I thought it was fitting because we’ve been together since we were wee teenage bebes and it’s all sappy about being together forever.  But then I pictured all his groomsmen giving him total shit for dancing to this song.  And, I must admit, I would totally give him shit about it, too.  So it’s not happening.

Onward we go, down memory lane.  There’s been more Bob Marley and maybe a Grateful Dead song or two that I was all about and listened to on repeat for days on end.

But when he finally proposed I went blank.  This is really it.  Before it was all just silly daydreaming about dancing with him on our wedding day (and in my mind he was a spectacular dancer.  Like serious dips and turns and…if you know Tony you’re probably laughing right now).  Anyway, it all of a sudden set in that I needed to pick a song that really speaks to us, but that could be something he could dance to. (ha)

We finally managed to narrow it down between two songs and have made a final decision, but we’ll have to keep you guessing until the big day.  And maybe we’ll get a certain someone brushed up on his dancing skills so he can impress our guests with something other than the “bump on Katie’s booty” dance or “the sprinkler.”***

*Crap – so I go and tell you I have a degree in English and then I sit for no less than 4 minutes staring at the word “people’s,” wondering if I used the apostrophe in the correct place.  I’ll try to write tomorrow, but I might be busy – it could take me awhile to get back to my old college in order to return my degree.

**Who’s all of a sudden hungry for Cheerios?

***I’m actually kind of partial to “the sprinkler.”