I don’t know how some bloggers update everyday.  It secretly makes me feel like my life is a sad sack of sorry compared to them.  Here is my daily schedule.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

7:31 a.m.: Roll out of bed.  This, of course, makes it sound like I’m rolling out, full of unbridled enthusiasm for the coming day.  I assure you, I am not.  It’s more like rolling out after 2 alarm clocks and 10 snooze button presses.  Think I’m kidding?  I also am not.

7:58 a.m.: I finally get out of the shower.  I take long showers. 

7:59 a.m.: Get that “oh shit, curse on your long showers, lady!” feeling because I now have 10 minutes to pick out my outfit, put on my makeup and do my hair.  You realize now why I tend to eat out for lunch.

8:33 a.m.: Sign into work.  Hope my boss doesn’t notice I’m 3 minutes late.

8:40 a.m.: Listen to my voicemails.  Remember why I love email over phone messages.

9:20 a.m.: Probably about the time I deal with my first confused customer.

10:00 a.m.: Run to the post office.  Sweet, glorious freedom!

11:00 a.m.: Start to wonder if time is moving backwards.  Oh.  It’s not.

12:30 p.m.: Lunch.  Sweet, glorious freedom times two!

1:45 p.m.:  Ok, seriously, time really is moving backwards.

4:00 p.m.: So close to the end.  Debate whether I should start a new project or try to look busy for the last 30 minutes.  Guess which option normally wins?

4:30 p.m.: Sweet, glorious freedom cubed!

5:30 p.m.: Check my email, eat some candy, think about dinner, and tell myself that I’m not going to fall asleep on the couch, damnit.

7:30 p.m.: Wake up on the couch, stare confused at the clock, and then process my epic failure of avoiding a nap.

7:31 p.m.: Think about hitting the gym.

7:32 p.m.: Laugh at the ridiculousness of that last thought.  Promise self it’ll happen tomorrow.

9:30 p.m.: Have a well-rounded meal of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal for dinner.

Midnight: Time for bed.  Stare at clock, all the while damning the early evening nap.

I need a vacation.  Or at least a few extra trips to the post office throughout the day.