Let me let you all in on a little secret.  It’s a secret from the A-cup world.  The rare species of women that don’t have much of a bosom.  Are you ready for it?  It’s big.

We feel a special affinity for our…rumpuses.  (That’s the plural version of rumpus for all of you who are looking at me sideways).

Anyhow, I’ve always been proud of my little booty because while other women could buy beautiful, lacy bras from Victoria’s Secret, I could dress up my ba-dunk-a-dunk in a tight pair of jeans and still feel like a hot little ticket.  Forget the “boob men”…I got the market cornered on the “butt guys.” 

Ok, this is getting a little weird.

The whole point of this post is to inform you that I’m going to attempt to start running.  How does this apply to T & A?  Well, I was checking out my bottom in the mirror the other day and realized…it’s looking a little…saggy.  And is that a dimple?  Gah!

Winter hasn’t been kind this year.  The sugar industry hasn’t either.  Well played, Gluttony, well played.

So I decided that I need to start running.  Why running?  Because my whole damn extended family is part human-part roadrunners and I’ve been subjected to too many Facebook statuses that look like the following: “So and so just ran 7 miles in under 3 minutes.  Feeling fantastic!” 

I read these statuses while sitting in the butt grove of my couch, feeling slightly guilty that I’m eating chocolate chip cookies for dinner (I said slightly!)  And as I sit there, I start to wonder what the “deal” is behind all this running biz-nass.

I’ve never been much of a runner.  I get terribly winded and turn bright red within the first 30 seconds so I’ve always been more apt to choose the elliptical machine.  Or do pilates.  And back in the day I was even known to hit up my man Richard Simmons.  Who doesn’t like to sweat it out to the oldies?  And I trust you all to keep that last one a secret because…Hello!  Embarrassing!  I know!

Anyway, these runners have piqued my interest.  It’s been so long since I’ve gone for a jog that I figure maybe today is the day.  So wish me luck.  And if you drive by and see me gasping for air on the sidewalk like a guppy, please scrape me off and place me back on the couch – STAT!