My Aunt Nancy gave me a deadline for my wedding registry because she and my Aunt Jenny are throwing me a bridal shower.  Me!  Queen for the day!  I will rule all the land with my new fancy napkin rings and 600 thread-count fitted sheets.  Bow down before my new shower rod, which I will use as my sword to swear you in as a knight.

This is my blog.  You never know what I will say.

You knew this when we met, people.

Whoa.  Anyway.  First and foremost, thanks so, so much to Aunt Nancy and Aunt Jen.  I’m still a little bit in shock that I’m having a wedding shower.  Mainly because that means a wedding follows.  And that would mean this is all actually happening.  Again…whoa.

So I started to make a list of items I could use.  Towels made it to the top of my list.  Because in the past I’ve always cheaped out on towels, so, forewarning, you might want to take out that second mortgage to afford the towels that are going on my list.  I’ll co-sign, no worries.

My list is quite practical, save a few items like a table lamp or two.  Ok, two.  But for the most part, it’s coming along.  I think Bed, Bath and Beyond will have the majority of the items and we’ll probably supplement with Target or a department store or something.  Damn you Bed, Bath and Beyond for having everything!  I can’t just register at one place, but…can I?

The list making and the picking out of pretty things is not the hardest part of this though.  The hardest part is the notion that I’m basically writing up a big ole’, itemized list of “wants” that I then assume my guests will go out and buy for me.  It’s weird.  And it feels a little…selfish?  Egotistical?  Indulgent?  I know this is how the whole wedding thing works, but I feel like I should include a post-it note that pops up when someone prints out my registry list.  It’d say “Sorry!  Seriously, I won’t be mad if you want to buy me the $3.00 oven mitts instead of the duvet cover!  Please don’t judge me by the more expensive things on the list!  See you at the wedding!”  If the post-it note could have a sound effect it’d be “Eek!”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to pick out lovely plates that I will eat my minimally-varied meals off of.  And pick out beautiful pots and pans that Tony will totally love and I will admire from afar.  But what do you do when you get 3 sets of your plate when you register for 8?  Is that what most couples spend their wedding money on?  Can you tell I’m new to this?  (I can hear you muttering “Greenhorn” under your breath.  And to that I say…you bitches!)

To leave off on a more serious note, can’t I just make this whole thing a lot easier and register for candy?

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