We did our wedding registry yesterday.

oh. my. god.

Heed my advice, ladies: don’t take your hubby-to-be with you.  Trust me.  Not only will you be better off, but he’ll thank you.  Because I found out something yesterday.  He doesn’t care how many ounces the soup bowls hold.  Or the difference between the lip on one plate versus another.  Tell him to stand guard with a cell phone in case you need to call him while he’s busy shooting zombies on the Xbox at home.  But keep your questions limited to “should we get a coffee maker?” because if you go any  further than that and start asking questions regarding what color it should be, his face might actually melt off his head.

We started off  ‘ok’ yesterday.  I kept preparing him that we were in for a long day and that I wasn’t going to give him any false hope that this would be a wham, bam, thank you-ma’am sort of excursion.  I followed it by hyping up the laser gun he’d get to use and how much fun it’ll be to pick out all kinds of cool gifts.  Presents, man!  Presents!

Sometimes I feel like a mom talking to a toddler, trying to get him psyched for something that will obviously be very boring.  Laser guns!  Clap, clap, clap!  Aren’t we so excited?!

He usually doesn’t fall for it, though.  Can’t say I didn’t try.  But damn, was I good babysitter back in the day, thankyouverymuch.

Anyhow, we made it through Crate and Barrel pretty well.  In fact, he actually picked out the flatware.  Flatware that…how do I put this nicely?  I can’t stand those damn forks.  They’re long, thin and…dainty.  Not something I’d see Tony picking out, but he got super pumped about the flatware and how “balanced” it was that I thought we might have just turned a page and was so taken aback at his enthusiasm that I found myself scanning the damn silverware without even knowing it.  Going into shock will make the body do funny things, no?

So I gave in and he’ll be happy with the silverware in all it’s “balancey” goodness.  And if you buy that gift for us, you can be sure you are buying something that will make Tony feel very proud of himself. 

It’s all about compromise right?  He gets to pick the silverware while I get to pick the bedding, bath towels, pots, pans, kitchenware and glasses.  Fair trade.

After about 2 hours at Crate and Barrel I could tell he was losing steam so I wrapped it up quick and we were on our way to Bed, Bath and Beyond.  Things started to go downhill by this point.  He started off really goofy.  Maybe a little crazy-goofy.  He was joking around in the bath section and trying to get me to register for animal fur bathmats and shower chairs.  It was cute if not a little annoying because, hello!  I was going on 3 hours of this as well.  After so long I started to scold him when he’d get ADD and hold up an electric shaver for me to scan. 

By the bedding section, I had completely lost him.  Not only was I tired, but he didn’t want anything to do with what colors the sheets were going to be or what the hell a sham was anyway.  I think our bed colors will be a surprise to him.  We must have looked really loving to the bridal consultant who helped us, because everytime she came around happened to be a time we would be bickering about “just scanning the damn thing already and let’s move on.”  Take a guess who was saying that.  I wonder how much time she gave us before we get divorced.  You know she was thinking it.

By pots and pans he was having a meltdown.  In all fairness, this was hour 5, we were having a problem scanning a pot we were registering for, and he hadn’t eaten anything since 1 in the afternoon.  I was pretty much there with him.

It ended positive, though.  We registered for some really nice things and we’re both excited about different items on the list.  He came home, took a nap on the floor and then proceeded to go straight to a friend’s house to wipe clean all the icky girl stuff I made him do throughout the day.  Just wait until we go to the florist.  That will be interesting.