Here’s probably the one and only picture where mosquitoes weren’t trying to annihilate our existence on this good earth. 

Aside from the Toyota Camry officiating in the background, I think it turned out pretty well. 

And now, without further ado, I, as a seafoam-colored, reliable, ten-point safety rated Japanese vehicle, pronounce you husband and wife.

The rest of the photos, unfortunately, didn’t fare so well.  We can thank our buzzy insect friends for that.  Tony: A little scritchity, scritch on the calf and I should be all set. 

Katie: Hold it together, partner. Tony: No wait, he’s moving up to my face.  MAH FACE!   

Katie: Do I look pale to you?  Oh right, mosquitoes, sorry. 

Tony: Holy head attack, Batman!  He has reinforcements!  Duck and cover…DUCK AND COVER, EVERYONE! 

Katie: Seriously with this guy over here? Tony: Can’t even talk because he’s losing his shit. 

Katie: I find this amusing.   

Tony: What just happened to me?  I feel weak.  Who are you?  Why am I in a Santa hat? 

Katie: Back up ladies, this fella’s all mine. 

Katie: Wait a sec… 

Tony: Your nonplussed attitude during my recent attack has me feeling a guilty pleasure at this sudden turn of events.   

Katie: No, seriously, something is eating the flesh on my arm.   

Tony: I am feeling anxiety right now.  Please note how I am backing away from you for fear you will fling the mosquito onto my very sensitive face.  I don’t like them near my face!  Are you listening?   

Katie: I would appreciate you loosening your vice grip on my hands so I can swat this thing off. 

Tony: I will stare at your arm to keep track of that bug.  If he goes near my face, I am calling this whole thing off. 

Tony: Are we done?  We’re done, right?  Is it time to be done, yet? 

Katie: Keep smiling, Katie.  You can’t kill him until AFTER the marriage when you can collect the  insurance money.* 

(*And before you start dialing the police, people, please recognize how KIDDING I am.  Besides, the insurance wouldn’t cover that hot, little Aston Martin I’ve been eyeing anyway…) 

Seen enough?  Didn’t think so.  Here’s part two of the Great Mosquito Swarm of August, 2010.  Please pay close attention to Tony’s left temple where the happiest mosquito in all the land drained about 5 minutes worth of nutrients from Tony’s skull. 

 Tony: I feel a weird pricking sensation near my left temple.   

Katie: Thank goodness those mosquitoes are finally leaving me alone.  They must have found a new blood source. 

Tony: Yeah, there’s definitely something on the side of my forehead.  But I’m afraid to move for fear Katie will beat me if I ruin yet another picture. 

Katie: I will seriously beat him if he ruins another picture. 

Tony: Must. Not. Move.  Is it hot out here?  Anybody else feeling a little warm? 

Katie:  Starting to wonder if she remembered to clean the bottom of her feet. 

Tony: Something’s not right.  I feel light-headed. 

Katie: :::Inhale::::::Exhale::: 

And it wouldn’t be fair to post only bad photos of Tony.  So to balance out the universe, I’m leaving you all with this stunning gem: 

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