It’s no big shocker that I’ve got babies on the brain.  (Warned you with the title, didn’t I?)

Ever since I can remember I knew I was meant to be a mom.  Ask my poor little brother Kyle who was subject to dress up maybe a few too many times.  Don’t ask him about how I mistakenly filled in his eyebrows with mascara though.  He might have already blocked out that special experience from childhood, or at least that’s what I’m banking on, because he seems to have turned into a fairly functional human being.  No harm, no foul.  Good words to live by when remembering embarrassing childhood memories.

You can also ask Tony, who will probably tell you I talk about babies every day of the week for 24 hours a day.  No rest on Sundays.  And he’s totally wrong, because I DO sleep somewhere in there, so knock off about 7 hours from his estimate and he’s probably pretty close.  Dreaming about pre-shus baybays doesn’t count, right? 

What the heck is up with me?  My biological clock would apologize if it weren’t so  busy annoying the piss out of my husband by wanting to talk baby names.  Like now.  Right now.

I need to get a grip. 

I suppose I should let you in on the fact that we’ll probably start trying sometime in the next year.  It almost feels…uncomfortable…admitting that.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe because in today’s society everybody is so secretive and sensitive when it comes to having babies.  And while I recognize the reasons behind it, I feel like…what’s the big deal?  So the whole internet knows we’re hoping to have a kid sometime in the near-er future.  You all can keep a secret, right?

After talking to my gynecologist (and yeah I used the ‘g’ word, but if you’ve made it this far into this blog post, I’m going to go ahead and assume you aren’t of the male-persuasion anyway and can handle any mention of the gynecologist without a giggle) I was told I should go ahead and start taking prenatal vitamins.  Get that womb good and comfy!

(Sidenote: My gynecologist is seriously hot.  Like. Ouch hot.  And while I’m all for hot doctors (ahem…McDreamy, ya’ll?), I maybe might prefer it’s my dermatologist.  Or dentist.  But no.  Had to be the gyno.)

So because I’m sure I’ve made you all good and uncomfortable with all this baby talk, I figure I should lighten it up and talk about my fun liquid vitamin experience. 

My very good friend Maggie just had a beautiful baby girl, Indigo, whom I adore not only because she’s pretty much the cutest little thing you’ll ever lay your peepers on, but also because Maggie and I both decided she’s like a baby genius or something.  And I promise we didn’t let our bias influence that conclusion.  Not only do I love getting to see Maggie and her wee babe because it’s fun to hang out and catch up, but it’s also nice to have another person who loves to talk about babies as much as I do.  (Although her natural childbirth stories aren’t exactly a convincing sell on the fun of going without drugs.  I’ve already scheduled the epidural.  And I’m not pregnant, yet.  Sorry Maggie.)

So, Maggie is very much into taking care of herself and is a great resource regarding all things natural.  This girl also knows her herbs.  When she heard I was taking Flinstones vitamins, I thought her eyes would bug out.  I know, I know.  I can’t swallow pills though.  Especially the horse pills that are disguised as prenatal vitamins.  Geez-us.

She left my house last with the assurance that she would contact me soon with a good liquid vitamin.  She just needed to do a little research.  So fast forward a few days and I get a voicemail from her with a liquid vitamin she found and I could check it out at Amazon.

So I went and checked it out.  It had good reviews (isn’t Amazon the best?) and I placed the order.  (Which still feels strange because I’m not even preggers yet.  Even talking about it seems taboo or something).

Anyhow, it came in the mail the other day and I immediately opened it and took a sniff.  Hmm.  Not too bad.  A little tutti-frutti smelling.  The little grainy things that looked like sand were a bit off-putting, but ah heck…down the hatch…

Homework assignment time.  Think of the most vile thing you’ve ever eaten.  The item of food you put in your mouth and after two seconds your brain all of a sudden realizes something doesn’t seem right.  That food.  This vitamin is sort of like that.  At first I thought I was being punk’d.  How could something so yummy smelling taste so horribly wrong?  Then I started flapping my arms dramatically.  Somehow moving your limbs around like a spaz helps the liquid get down the esophagus.  It’s a scientific fact.  Tony witnessed the whole dramatic commotion with a mixture of bemusement and confusion.  I just looked up at the ceiling (which I guess is where I assume my unborn babies reside right now?…while waiting or something?) and snarled. 

Yeah I said it.  I snarled at my future, unborn babies.  Because liquid prenatal vitamins are a thing of awful wretchedness. 

So that’s my story.  I guess it’s not that funny, save the fact that you can laugh at me everyday around 7 pm as I’m trying to choke down some gross liquid that turns my pee neon yellow.  Can you even think of a more fun side effect?  I can’t!