July 2011


Sometimes I wonder how we’ll ever come up with a bigger down-payment for a house, why Tony can’t clean a coffee ring stain on the counter for his life, why my apartment neighbor lady hates us so.  I wonder if I’ll ever get a job that makes me truly happy.  And if Tony will, too.  If the shoe repair store could fix my favorite zebra heels.  I sometimes sit and stare at my closet, all the while thinking about how I could use some new nice black pants or how I’m so incredibly sick of wearing the same things to work every week.  I throw pity parties for myself that my parents and brother aren’t closer than 1,000 miles away.  I want to throw a tantrum when I get the electric bill and that couple hundred dollars could have gone in the bank.  I think about how this next trip to Florida will probably be the last time I see my “elderly” puppies.

But here’s the thing.

As I was leaving for work this past Saturday morning, (at an un-godly time for a Saturday morning, I must add) I peeked back in to our bedroom where Tony was still fast asleep and took a minute to just look at him.  He does this thing where his upper lip curls up in his sleep.  And it’s probably the cutest thing you’ll ever see on a 30-year-old grown man.  And before I lose my entire audience by squicking you guys all out, the point of my little story is to let you in on how truly blessed I felt at that moment.

Sometimes life gets hard.  And it sucks.  And you want to punch pillows, walls or even someONE.  But, when I do a little soul-searching, the biggest thing that comes to the surface is appreciation. 

Do you know Tony is the most civil person to have an argument with?  Do you know how many chocolate runs he has gone on for me at midnight?  Or how all I have to do is play dumb about cars and he’ll fill the air in my tires?  I feel so incredibly fortunate to have a husband that respects me, roots for me and comforts me without thinking twice.  And even when I don’t always deserve any of those.

I also have parents who have always made providing and wanting the best for my brother and I their most important goal.  I have insanely awesome friends.  Ones who are all tough as nails and there for me in a split second.  I have coworkers who keep me laughing through an entire 8 hour workday, whether we’re putting on an icecream social for the office or playing a quick round of Family Feud during break.  I have a little brother who calls me at least twice a month, just to talk.

I’m happy, even when I’m not.  If that makes sense. 

Part of me feels a little silly posting this.  I actually struggled with whether this post was even appropriate because my so-called problems are pretty miniscule.  It’s probably pretty easy to feel appreciative when I haven’t had much trauma in life. 

But.

I just want to throw up a little thought, prayer, shout-out to the gods-that-be.   A little note of thanks.  Because my life is not perfect, but I haven’t lost sight of how fortunate I am to have a job at the end of the day.  Food on the table at night.  And these great people in my life.

 

Advertisements

I know.  I know.  Sorry.

Would a picture of cute shoes help you get over the fact I haven’t posted in forever?

 

I can haz new kute pair uf shooz?

No?

I can haz new kute huzband that kleens kitchen?