Let’s take you through a timeline, eh?

Last Saturday:  Get home from work and hubs tells me there’s water in the basement and he noticed it’s coming down from our bathroom.  Apparently, every time we take a shower, the water is coming down through the tile, which would explain why the previous owners had caulked the ever-living shit out of our bathtub.  Made note to self to stop doing helicopter arms in the shower – could possibly stop all the water from hitting any wall area.

Wednesday Morning, Before Work: Take shower.  Because apparently on Saturday we bitched and moaned about our problem, but did not make any further attempt to schedule a calendar of events, if you will, to take care of the problem.  Welcome to our  household – where we ignore a problem until it resolves itself.

Get out of the shower and hear the smoke alarm going off in the basement.  Run into the bedroom, scare Tony out of bed with some type of wild-banshee screaming about the basement being on fire, run downstairs with him, still soaking wet and in a towel, watch as he looks around at the puddles on the basement floor and the water running down our staircase that is causing the smoke alarm to go off.  In a complete stupor, where he literally looks half drunk and half asleep, he violently rips the smoke alarm from the wall, takes one look at me and says very matter-of-factly “we’ll deal with this later.”  He then proceeds to walk back up the staircase and get back into bed.

Wednesday morning, at work:  Because my husband’s new plan of action is dangerously close to his Saturday plan of action, which involves letting the basement sort itself out (it’s not the main floor, so as long as we don’t go down there and see the problem, we might just be able to live in blissful ignorance to the fact that our house has essentially sprung a leak on the starboard side), I do what every strong, independent female would do – I call my father-in-law and cry to him that I have no idea what to do.

This seems to help, as my father-in-law is a very handy man who would never pass an opportunity to do some type of remodel that involves tiling or shiny, new Home Depot goods.  I take a half day at work and waddle through the Tile Shop with him for 3 hours picking out tile to line our shower.  We get home to Tony, who, with a change of heart from this morning, is surprisingly ready for the demolition stage to begin.

We  manage to pull the crowbar out of his hands long enough to discuss in length about how, since we’re doing this anyway, we may as well go big.  That means, let’s just gut the entire bathroom and do that bathroom remodel we’ve been talking about for a few months now.  My concern was time, as I couldn’t see myself heading home after a few days in the hospital and driving to my in-laws with a newborn to shower.  I was also worried about money, knowing my husband and his affinity for all things “high-end” product.  This is on-the-fly, Tony…no need for the  heated toilet seat.

Saturday morning: The crew is over, the cement board is going up, and the tiling should start soon.  We’re using our half-bath for toilet and sink, but we’re making daily trips to the in-laws to shower.  I’m staying out of the way, yet I’m called upon when going to Home Depot to help with the money spending (and to keep an eye on how many items my husband throws in the cart).  We’re bordering on $2,000 dollars out the hole now, so we’ve taken Ivy League schools out of the running for Fox’s future.  With all the sugar I’ve consumed throughout this pregnancy anyway, I highly doubt they would have ever been in his horizon anyway.  I’m just sayin’…

As I sit here typing this, the plumber has been here and we’re set to begin dry-walling, ripping the moldy sub-floor out and tiling.  Even though the floor, vanity and toilet won’t be done in the next couple days, my father-in-law’s plan is to have a working shower for us as quickly as possible.  Bless his heart.  Really.

We’re going back and forth regarding what our next step should be.  Something like this really should have been caught by our home inspector…the 4 inch layer of caulk around the tub might have been a dead giveaway to someone who knows what he’s doing.  We’ve also heard some “interesting” things come up about this gentleman after all of this came out of the woodwork (literally).  It makes me wonder what else he hasn’t caught and could potentially be a huge risk.  It’s weird that our plugs fall out of the walls, right??

Who has Mike Holmes’ number?


Anyway, I’ve brought you up to speed on our crazy, quick bathroom remodel of 2012.  We’ll have a beautiful, sparkling new bathroom for our friends and family to enjoy when they visit after Fox is born.  Still, though.  No helicopter arms in the shower, ok people?  Just in case…