I really love to read, but I find myself having less and less time to do it. I mean, when your life is filled with countless trips to the gym (ha!) and catching up on what stupid program I have on my DVR (16 and Pregnant anyone? My Siamese Twin Is Evil And Trying To Ruin My Life? Ok – that one isn’t real, but it sounds like something Discovery would air) it’s kind of hard to find time.
If it’s a book that catches my full attention, in those rare instances, then I’ll make exceptions and spend most of my night reading when I kick off the high heels after work. The last book that did this to me was…oh man, I can’t believe I’m going to admit this…the Twilight series.
“Shame on you, you poser English Major. Now go find yourself some Homer and show me whatcha’ workin’ with.”
Anyhow – I didn’t particularly care for the Twilight books. Let me explain. It’s how I assume a drug user feels about a particular drug. They’re addicted. That doesn’t mean it’s good for them. So, in essence, Twilight is the literary version of, say, crack.
It’s terribly written and I thought my eyes were on perma-roll with each melodramatic scene. But I couldn’t resist. Again, crack.*
And, well, Edward IS sorta dreamy. And I AM aware that saying that sounds incredibly creepy, seeing as though I’m 26 and he’s a fictional character. I’m just gonna stop talking about that book now. Because I can see I’m just digging a deeper hole of weirdness. Apologies.
Anyhow, aside from my short stints into the land of tween romance, I do find time to read some pretty decent books. You know how a lot of people use music tastes or career aspirations to learn more about a person? I use books. When I visit your house, I will snoop around your bookshelf. It’s my equivalent of rummaging through your medicine cabinet.
And if you have Shakespeare on your shelf I will judge you as a pretentious little bugger. (Fact – I have at one point had Shakespeare on my shelf. And I don’t think it fooled anyone into thinking that I actually read it).
Anyhow – I tend to venture towards the books that are a little more out-there. That doesn’t mean I don’t read the Oprah books or the New York Times bestsellers. But I also like to mix in a little non-fiction about weird topics too. For instance, the last book I read was about the mole people who lived under the New York City subway tunnels. Pretty rad, actually. Check out Mary Roach’s Stiff, too, if you want a humorous look into what happens to our bodies after we donate them to science. Sounds creepy, but just trust me on this one.
I am an absolute sucker for Tom Robbins. He’s brilliant and clever. If you haven’t read Jitterbug Perfume, it’s a must. It’s not an easy read – his metaphors and use of wording have you pausing often to really wrap your brain around his message – but it’s a worthy read.
My favorite book of all time is The Lord of the Rings. Tolkien’s writing isn’t anything to gush over, but you will be captivated by the story he unfolds for the reader.
Also on my list of favorites? The Other Boleyn Girl (*love*), Baby Driver (written by Jack Kerouac’s daughter), and Desert Solitaire (I took a course called “Nature Writing” in college and fell in love with Edward Abbey).
Books that could double as door stops for me? The Historian. Save yourself people. Run screaming in the opposite direction. 800 pages of my life ruined, waiting for a small hint, a wee baby inkling of plot. Nope. Nothing.
Wicked. Just wicked awful. (Durrr…bad joke).
The Lovely Bones. I just don’t get the hype. I really don’t.
Ok, my rant about books is over. Any good suggestions for me? And warn me before you come over next so I can put out my poetry books** and big volume of Shakespeare. I have an image to uphold here.
*Whitney Houston says “Crack is whack, yo!” and I completely agree. So stay off drugs, kids.
**Who am I kidding? These books have no creases in the spines.
The Cheeky Bride 
February 16, 2010 at 10:03 pm
Ok, whatever. I like crack! I go for the hype and the really easy read and I don’t “read” anything into the words other than the simple story they tell. I like to just be in the book and not try to think about what message it is trying to tell me. I think way too much at my job everyday to have to worry about thinking when I read for pleasure at night. Edward can visit me in my dreams any night….cuz yes he is dreamy.
So take that you English majors and snooty Shakespeare readers. You will find Grisham and Koontz and Sparks on my shelf and I am proud of it.
February 16, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Don’t get me wrong – I got sucked into Twilight too – it IS good after a long day at work. And for a little dreamboat action like Edward 🙂
No judgment here – I dig Koontz!
February 16, 2010 at 10:29 pm
DVR has ruined my life. . . And I have read a book called Skinny Bitch, which I love- you know the vegetarian in me. Aside from that, I dont read much beyond Hallmark Cards- damn job.
February 16, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Hi, my name is Scott, and I’m a 14 year old girl.
Wow. I thought that was supposed to make you feel better. Not so much.
First, I would like to explain that I’m not an English major, nor have I ever been. In high school, before I dropped out, I was more interested in math and science. The only two college courses I took were Logic and Advanced Computer Basics (a study in oxymorons in the technology generation). I believe that this lack of formal education in English entitles me to some slack, which is the only reason I mention it here.
Second, I would like to say that I ADORE Shakespeare, although I’ve never tried to read any of his stuff. My love of Shakespeare started in eighth grade when my parents took us to England for their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I think it’s worth mentioning here that they were really, really not good at math and that I figured out, while they were telling the story of their wedding, that they were, in fact, married twenty-six years at the time, and had completely skipped, without so much as a mention, the actual quarter-century mark. We went to Stratford Upon Avon, and there saw Romeo and Juliet performed by actual British people in a real Shakespearian company. I was twelve or thirteen at the time, so by all rights I should have been both bored to tears and pissed that I’d been dragged to such a stupid waste of my time, but I was enthralled. I didn’t even notice when my parents left the theater with people they’d met in the pub earlier to go get their drinks on. My sister, a wise and responsible freshman in high school, was in charge of getting me safely back to my hotel room. I was bunking with dad, and scared of being alone in a strange city, I put the security chain on the door and proceeded to fall into “the slumber of the dead”, actually (I’m totally not making this up) requiring the hotel manager and a maintenance man to use bolt cutters to enter the room because I did not rouse at the pounding on the door, the shouting from the hallway, or the ringing of the phone. They assumed me dead, rather than merely asleep. Perhaps I’d drunk from Juliet’s vial?
But I digress.
My point is that I’m at least partially cultured. I can, if the need arises, pass myself off as a gentleman.
I LOVED TWILIGHT. Still do. If Stephanie Myers writes six more books in the series I will push old ladies and small children aside at the bookstore to ensure my copy, and I will read each one multiple times. I just finished my fifth reading of the first book, and am trying to decide if the sideways, condescending glances from Jen are worth me busting open New Moon once again. We have two copies of Eclipse because I found myself stuck in an airport for 8 extra hours, and I’d finished New Moon in bed the night before.
I read Harry Potter at least seven times. I’m like that – I find a story that I enjoy, I visit it over and over again. For a few years when I was much younger I did the same thing with The Chronicles of Narnia, finishing The Last Battle and jumping right back into The Magician’s Nephew.
Twilight is not beautifully written, but for a first novel, it’s not as bad as all that. It’s actually kind of fun to watch the story telling improve from first book to last.
Perhaps they are like a drug, but not like crack. They’re not a bad drug. They’re pot. No one’s going to die from an OD of Twilight. No bad Twilight fanfic is going to put someone into the hospital. It’s just a great story about finding happiness, and trusting in your love and yourself.
Harry Potter is no literary masterpiece, but it’s a fun, enjoyable escape in a great world.
I guess my point is, don’t be hatin’ on the Twilight, Katie. It was never meant to be held up against Chaucer or Thoreau – it was only meant to be enjoyed as a simple pleasure. Much like Captain and Coke can never stand side-by-side with Cristal Brut, each has its own place in the world, and its own admirers.
I personally enjoy music from a huge variety of genres. I listen to big band, swing, classic rock, country western, 70’s folk, 80’s hair bands, alternative, pop, and even some bubble gum “crap” as Jen is so fond of calling it.
There’s a place for everything, for everything its place. I guess my point is, don’t be hatin’ on the Twilight, Katie. It was never meant to be held up against Chaucer or Thoreau – it was only meant to be enjoyed as a simple pleasure. Much like Captain and Coke can never stand side-by-side with Cristal Brut, each has its own place in the world, and its own admirers.
Uncle Scott (14 year’s old and regressing)
February 17, 2010 at 9:53 am
So, if you don’t feel up to reading Shakespeare’s King Lear, read Christopher Moore’s “Fool” it is hilarious. Read anything by him. He is SOOO funny.
February 17, 2010 at 1:33 pm
I totally agree. In fact, after I wrote the post I was thinking – “shoot – I should have included “Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.” That story was awesome!
February 17, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Oh I am loving this post. Watch for a spinoff!
February 18, 2010 at 6:24 pm
I’m a Twilight fan. Not like Uncle Scott as I’d probably never read it again. And, I haven’t read the last in the series as I will not spend the money on hard-cover and the waiting list at the library is about a year long. As for Edward….I just saw the first Twilight Movie….can’t say he is my type of eye candy. I think I like my characters in my head rather than on the big screen.
Anyway, in between these books and any of the books written by The Other Boleyn Girl author (I think it’s Greggory) I’d recommend any of the following for your reading pleasure: Driving With Dead People, Child 44, Prayers For Sale, The Help, Sarah’s Key….to name a few. I read all kinds of books and really enjoy the book club I belong to. If you looked at my bookshelf while you were here, you probably saw a lot of political books…..I can’t help it….I have to share the book shelves with hubby.
February 18, 2010 at 8:43 pm
Hey Aunt Nan,
I have the last Twilight book if you want to borrow it. I’ll try to remember to bring it with me when my mom and I visit in March. Also – thanks for the suggestions!