Baby Shower, Woot! Woot!

This past weekend was my baby shower, which also meant that my dear mom flew up from Florida to attend the festivities, see our new house and marvel at the basketball I’m now carrying as cargo on my abs.

It was hard saying goodbye to her, but I know I’ll see her again in two months when this little squirt is born.  Two months.  8 weeks.  Holy shit.

It was so great to see my friends and family this past weekend and while I only have a few photos to share, here they are:

And here’s the aftermath (and keep in mind, this is AFTER we started organizing…):

Things are starting to get a little…tougher.

I’m 32 weeks now and nothing fits anymore.  Nothing.  I kid you not when I say I have made wearing yoga pants to just about every store or family function an acceptable thing, regardless of whether it really is.  Even my maternity jeans I bought in the 2nd trimester aren’t fitting over the thighs so easily.  I’m feeling fat.  And extra cellulite-y.  And maybe this is why:

It’s is a wonder that I passed my glucose test.

The next 8 weeks are still ahead and I’m not sure how I’m going to dress myself in the morning, but I can tell you one thing – I’m starting to feel reeeeally done with this pregnancy thing.  If you want to make a slightly early appearance, Fox, I won’t be mad at you, ok?

 

I Think I’d Be Saddest About The Brontasaurus. The T-Rex Was Just Such A Bully.

I had big plans for this blog post, I tell you what…

Since a good portion of you were not able to make it to my shower, I was contemplating committing all the shower gifts to digital photo history.  A.K.A. – I was gonna show you some pretty, pretty pictures, ya’ll!

And because I know it would have been an enriching experience for you to see 6 images detailing different angles of the same spice rack (in all fairness, I would have made them really artsy and photojournalistic, but, I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it…), I can tell how bummed you are that you’re missing out on this photographic journey.

“Why, oh why are we missing out on this, Katie?”  (Yeah, I could hear you just now.  Technology, man…pretty crazy stuff.)

The reason you are not able to partake in my second wind of enthusiasm and high-pitch squeals as I document all my new, shiny loot is because my damn computer broke.  Again.  So, like a twist on what the Soup Nazi says…No photos for you!

I’m working on Tony’s Mac.  But I suppose I shouldn’t even get into how long it took me to find the freakin’ internet button.  Who names the internet Safari?  How about something sensible like Internet Explorer.  You know.  With the word INTERNET in the name.

If you want to get artsy, Apple, take up kitchen product photography.  Leave the program wording to someone else.  Like technical writers.  Hey, there’s a thought.

Also?  Get some icons, damnit.  I may or may not have actually made my way to the internet by waving my mouse around frantically across the desktop.  Eventually something finally popped up.  Don’t ask me to navigate my way back here though.  Lady Luck won’t always be standing nearby.

(At this very moment, the thought crossed my mind to title this blog post “Hip, Hip Hooray for PC’s!” but then I thought better of it when I realized my hunk of junk is sitting on the floor being all pathetic and non-motherboardy on me.  And I will not look like a sucker.  Apparently I WILL look like many other things, though.)

Alas, I am a little bummed that you all can’t see my cookie jars filled to the brim with Nerds and Junior Mints.  You’ll have to imagine it though.  Think of the most beautiful vision you can think of.  I’m talking rainbows and unicorns.  Now picture that on my kitchen counter.  Did you just get tingly inside?  And no, that’s not the glucose coursing through your veins.

Hopefully I’ll find some way to be up and running soon.  You wouldn’t believe how much I rely on the internet.  I realized this last time my computer broke when my dad told me I needed to look up the number to the computer store.  I got really disgruntled and told him I couldn’t because I had no way to access their website.

He mentioned something, something Yellow Pages, but I do not know of this thing you all call Yellow Pages.  Is it some holy grail from my parents’ time?  Did it list the dinosaurs in alphabetical order or by species?

On that note, I should probably shut my trap.  The Karma Gods are starting to look at me disapprovingly.

They must have been sad when those dinosaurs died or something.

 

Oompa Loompa Doopedy Doo, Listen Up Wonka, Here’s A Dilemma For You

The other day my coworker was asking me if I was eating Nerds again and I responded by asking her if she could hear my teeth rotting.  I then proceeded to tell her my woe-is-me story about my expensive dental bill and impressive number of cavaties.  This led to us joking about writing Wonka, Inc. a letter of dissatisfaction.  Because I’m dissatisfied with how addictive they make those crunchy little buggers.  And because we just have so much to do at work, we came up with this:

Dear Wonka, Incorporated,

Here’s my beef.  Your Nerds have given me cavaties.  And lots of them.  In fact, I financed my dentist’s vacation home.  And that hot little speedboat he keeps parked out back in the lake.  Also the donations he makes to charities, but I’m not so mad about those.

Back to my beef.  Enclosed is a copy of my dental bill.  You can choose to split the costs between your different departments – I won’t tell you how to run your business.  I understand that the marketing team that designs the boxes with those cute little Nerds without arms and the Oompa Loompa department are both equally responsible for my terrible tooth enamel.

I trust that you will pay this bill in a timely fashion and I won’t have to worry about creditors coming after me for non-payment.  Please also note my dentist’s 30-day payment policy.

Thank you for doing the right thing.  And I know you will. 

Sincerely,

Katie

P.S. – Is it bad that my heartbeat is registering at hummingbird status?  I am a bit concerned and feel this might warrant a trip to my general physician.  And for your sake, I sure hope at least 80% of that bill is covered through insurance.  I’ll get back to you.  But in the interest of helping you budget, you’ll want to keep in mind those EKG’s probably run a tad on the expensive side.

P.P.S. – The other day my coworker told me she didn’t like Starbursts.  I then told her that we could no longer be friends.  See what you’re doing, Wonka?  You’re ruining friendships.  And I would include a bill for that, too, if it weren’t for the fact that friendships are priceless.

 

Oh Boy!

Thanks to Thoughts Appear for giving me a nod for a blog award over at her homepage.  Ya’ll need to check her out – she’s seriously funny.  She also shares an appreciation for candy.  (Can you tell I’m not a tough critic when it comes to making friends?  You like candy, you’re good in my book.)  So thanks!  I’m sending good karma thoughts your way and wishing you a weekend full of hardened high fructose corn syrup with red dye 40.  Mmm…I think I might have just described Nerds.